The Hopeful Twit

The hopeful twit lost life's battle
Dreaming dreams of fantasy
Optimism of happy tomorrows
Hiding from her reality
Why pretend that people change?
That peace was almost here
You cannot mend every broken heart
And you can never dry every tear

Happiness

A form of schizophrenia known as hebrephrenia is characterised by excessive smiling and laughing, even when this is inappropriate. Excessive "highs" can also be a symptom of the manic dimension of bipolar disorder.

Shadows

In a distance I see a shadow
Of a presence who's strong
Confident and stable, standing firm
Almost familiar, feels so close
Yet unfamiliar, i cannot comprehend
Full of strength, firm as a rock
I could almost admire
Then i walk close and i see the pain
Eyes filled with distress, hurt & regret
Mistakes that cannot be undone
Kept safely hidden, a distance away
Masked by the illusion of strength
It was too difficult searching for bliss
It was impossible to find peace
So ignorance was all that was left
From a distance I saw strength
But as I go closer, the pain is all I see
It isn't difficult deceiving others
But can you truly ever deceive yourself?
Then I'm there face to face
The shadow fades & I'm standing alone
And it's finally clear, I know who i see

Holding Out For A Hero

A long and exhausting search for hope turns sour, fades into a distant fantasy, an unreachable dream. The yearning gives hope, the search keeps the hope alive. The hope is all we have. The fantasy will never materialise, the possibilities have long gone, it's too late for perfection. All we have in the present is this hope and all we have for the future is the sweet dreams that will never be real, only to remain in our heart as dreams of "a hero".

Artist: Bonnie Tyler
Song: Holding Out For A Hero

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dreamof what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder
And rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me

Through the wind
And the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

Sharon's Discontent

In reference to Sharon's blog post, I can totally relate to this random feeling of discontent. It happens to the best of us. And yeah sometimes it's just a phase. Especially being brought up in a society where with so many expectations. Isn't it human tendency to just want more? It's that seeking and yearning that makes life worth living. Wouldn't you get bored if you had it all and there's nothing else out there for you? That's when you get tired and life becomes too mundane and placid to mean anything anymore.

We should do what makes us happy. If a family, successful career, luxury car & house does not make you happy, then don't bother heading in that direction. Some people would love that and some would hate it. Some of us want to travel the world and live a stress-free single life and some of us want a big suburban house with white picket fences, 4 kids and a dog named Brad Pitt.

And when you finally have everything that you've always dreamt of and there's still a hole in your life, something distinctively missing; instead of having a mid-life crisis, smothering the kids with a pillow or having an affair, try going to church :p

Green Singapore

Singapore's a fantastic place to live if you can get over the humidity. People tend to take for granted the situation they're in and want something more, only to realise what they had was what they've always wanted, what's enough to keep em content. Human tendency to search for greener pasture, to be enthralled by the possibilities only to realise it ain't so green when you finally get there. Strangely it looks greener back where you were. Strange enough.

BBQ @ studley park

Had a barbeque on tuesday @ studley park. Awesome park, there was wildlife everywhere. Nothing exotic. Juz a bunch of ducks, sparrows, the random pigeon, magpies trying to steal our food & possums, lots of em! Wasn't easy taking photos in the dark, I couldn't see a thing! Still managed to catch em possums tho. One was hanging by its tail from a branch munching on some leaves.

Tasteless Origin

Yet another day is her bleak life. She looks out the window at the rustling leaves of a huge oak across the street and wonders why her life is so unsatisfying, so bland. Where has all the flavour gone? Was it the wrong ingredients in her pot of choices - her fault, or just the lacking quality that she cannot control, she cannot choose. She is where she is with those whom are given to her, and cannot choose any other. She can however move away, meet new people, pretend the old never was, but she will always be who she was at the start. You can't change circumstances of creation, you can only change the pitstops and the destination but never the beginning, never the start, never what matters the most, who you truly are.

Spring comes, Winter dies

Spring blossoms again. How marvelous the beauty of a flower bush blossoming in Spring. They look pleasant, peaceful, serene. So full of colour, full of live, innocence and beauty. If only life was as simple, as vibrant yet serene. Maybe it is for some, maybe many, just seems too difficult to ever grasp that simplicity, the peace, the colour. Just can't seem to find that colour in my life. Life is all drained out, too many mistakes, too much lost. I think I've dropped my paintbrush along life's way and just kept going. And now it's too late to turn back, and too early to stop. Life has become become grey.

Simplicity

Been a slow day, had some guests over, made some dinner, entertained for a few hrs, wasn't too unbearable............I had better days.

Simplicity is nice, it can be. From a slow day reading random journal entries, to talking to an old friend and listening to how he butchered a duck for lunch, to crossing paths with an old acquantaince whom i just found out is a friend of some of my very current friends, small world.

Sometimes i forget how small Singapore really is and how many of us cross paths at some point in our lives and never meet again, never to remember, never to forget.

We need to make it a point to hold on to those of importance lest they become faded memories.

Just one more

Ever so often we feel the need to yearn for something in the distance, something almost impossible to reach, something that's forbidden. When does that 'something' stop becoming a harmless fantasy? When does it cross the line of innocence into a deadly obsession? When have people stopped being content with what they can have and start fighting for more? 'Nothing easy is worth fighting for.'

The question then becomes, what if we do gain possession of that which we had fought so hard for? Do we sit back and marvel at the 'trophy' and be content or would we put it on a shelf and go seek more? People just want more. They have realised over the decades that they can have almost anything yet it's not quenching their unfulfilling thirst for everything. I want what I want cause I want it. How much am I willing to lose to achieve my temporary 'trophy'?

The beginning of an era

The mind thrives with such complexity. It yearns to make sense of the nonsensical. Obsession turning into hope, hope creeping its way into reality.

We think of what we cannot understand.
We write what we cannot tell.
And we dream of things we cannot have.

What my mind can no longer withhold, i will have to put down on paper, in words I may never understand, never remember, never tell.